Decision making as an expat
If you are an expat and have been living abroad for awhile, you might be facing a very common dilemma for many expats: should you stay in the country you are living in or should you go home? Perhaps you are also contemplating the possibility to move to another country altogether? In my previous post, I have discussed the most common mistakes that expats tend to make when facing this type of dilemma. Today, I want to offer a strategy that will help reframe the choices you make. I find it to be very beneficial for most of my clients. This strategy will help you to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings and help you to be guided by your values and make better decisions.
The Choice Point tool
The strategy I am referring to was developed by Dr. Russ Harris, a leading expert in the field of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, called “The Choice Point”. This tool will bring some mindfulness and awareness into your decision-making process. Because in order to be able to make the right choice, you first need to be aware of what is the driving force behind your choices. When you are connected to your internal compass, you start making decisions based on your values. Therefore, you are more aligned with your goals, aspirations, and long term dreams.
Whenever you are faced with two different possibilities, one of the decisions is going to pull you more towards your values and the other – away from them. When we are being pulled away, it is only because we are “hooked” on difficult thoughts or difficult feelings. Such as guilt, fear, uncertainty, worries, or possible regrets that you might have. Or thinking about what I should do, or how other people would want me to live my life.
Recognizing those fears or “hooks” is necessary because they are pulling us from what might be extremely important to us. So getting connected to your values, figuring out what is deeply important to you, what your internal compass looks like – is the first and most crucial step towards learning how to make the right decisions and be guided by your values.
This is, however, only the first step in “The Choice Point.” Please watch my video below and find out what are the next steps to take and how could I help you overcome this very common life dilemma as an expat.